Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
