i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
