WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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