Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
