I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
