I wanna bring you to show and tell
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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