haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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