apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
