I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
