he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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