ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
