laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
