Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
