Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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