Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
nutella sex= disaster
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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