Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
