i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
