apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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