Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
