I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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