There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
