You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
