So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
