I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
