Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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