you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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