get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
