Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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