Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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