We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?â€
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
