Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
