Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
