take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
