if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I queefed so loud it echoed.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
