He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
