Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
