it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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