apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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