and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
