either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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