Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I forget how to act sober
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
