Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
