Having a random hookup so left but love u
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
