Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
