There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
They are going to name an STD after you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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