I think i peed on brittanys purse
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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