"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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