the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
