HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
