I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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