why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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